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Just to let people know, my journal is now friends only. It's a shame really, because I wanted to keep it partly as a way of letting people I know who AREN'T on Livejournal - Chloe and Paul being the main ones - what's going on in my life. But due to circumstances to do with a certain maniac woman from Kittyradio having my journal address, I'm cutting access down. She's already posted a lot of personal stuff from another person's journal, and I'm damned if she's going to do it with mine. This sounds uber-neurotic, and she probably isn't thinking of doing it anyway, but there is stuff in here I do not want being used against me. Therefore I am making posts of a more personal nature unreadable for people not on my friends list.
If you want me to add you, please leave a comment.

Yay for the Ukraine! Boo to the Brits!

Well, our song was a pile of wank. Yes, I watched Eurovision, laugh at me if you want. Here's what I thought:
- Albania (Anjeza Shahini - The Image Of You): looked a bit like Jordan with black hair, worse teeth and smaller titties. She sounded like she had stagefright, you could barely hear her until the end.
- Austria (Tie Break - Du Bist): extremely camp boy band. They were cute, but their song made me want to puke. It was in German, and I had a go at translating the lyrics. They were dire. Funnily enough, the last time I watched the whole contest was in 1999 and Austria's entry was the best - a woman called Bobbi Singer with a nice catchy acoustic song, impressive cheekbones and a bassist who looked like Meg Matthews.
- Belgium (Xandee - 1 Life): had big teeth. Heat were lying, she doesn't look like Rebecca Loos. Her song was an inoffensive dance track and she couldn't dance for shit.
- Bosnia-Herzegovina (Deen - In The Disco): the gayest of gay, literally. He looked like this very camp gay guy I met once at an LGB meeting. His track was really gay too, like something out of a bad disco.
- Croatia (Ivan Mikulic - You Are The Only One): scary man with monobrow. Boring. His song was like something out of a bad musical.
- Cyprus (Lisa Andreas - Stronger Every Minute): she was this cute little 16 year old from Kent, although to hear her sing you'd think she was older. Her song was a ballad and I hate ballads, but kudos to her for taking time out of her GCSEs to do Eurovision.
- France (Jonatan Cerrada - A Chaque Pas): Pop Idol winner. He looks a bit like a French Will Young. The only memorable thing about his performance was the scary woman wobbling around on stilts.
- Germany (Max - Can't Wait Until Tonight): earnest guy with receding hairline and very stereotypical-German-looking (ie a bit tubby with beards and big grins) backing band. Shame on the Germans, normally their entries are funny.
- Greece (Sakis Rouvas - Shake It) - he was HOT. His female dancers took their clothes off, unfortunately he didn't. His song was like Ricky Martin, but with extra bouzouki.
- Iceland (Jonsi - Heaven): grumpy-looking fella with nice cheekbones. His song was REALLY boring and unfortunately he wasn't the guy from Sigur Ros. Now that would have been interesting...
- Ireland (Chris Doran - If My World Stops Turning): utter wank. Bryan from Westlife wrote his song, need I say more?
- Macedonia (Tose Proeski - Life): looked like a cross between John Dolmayan and someone off Star Trek, as did his backing dancers. They all arsed around with chairs. The song was in some weird time signature, it was pretty good.
- Malta (Julie and Ludwig - On Again, Off Again): cheesier than Welsh rarebit. It was a bloke and a woman grinning hugely at each other and staring each other in the eye while doing a song that sounded like something Andrew Lloyd Webber would have come up with in one of his worse musicals. Had some nice operatic bits.
- Holland (Re-Union - Without You): Tori liked this lot. Two blokes, one wailing, one on guitar, and three backing singers. Nice.
- Norway (Knut Anders Sorum - High): I can't look at the guy's name without laughing. How mature. Another Pop Idol-type guy with a terrible song.
- Poland (Blue Cafe - Love Song): jazzy band with tarty singer (you could see her arse through the bondage tape) and trumpeter with huge afro. Guitarist looked like Andy Scott-Lee. Singer sounded a bit like Anastacia.
- Romania (Sanda - I Admit): song wasn't memorable, but her outfit was. She was wearing bondage gear and had ridiculously boofy hair.
- Russia (Julia Savicheva - Believe Me): looked like Avril Lavigne, and sang like her, ie offkey. She was surrounded by four topless dancers covered in body paint, which rubbed off on her arms.
- Serbia & Montenegro (Zeljko Joksimovic - Lane Moje): brought a nice rootsy touch to the contest - one of his band played the nose flute, another one played bongos and another played a lute. I think that's what it was. I coveted the gold dress his violinist was wearing. At least he didn't have some crappy disco track.
- Spain (Ramon del Castillo - Para Llenarme De Ti): I only wish I'd understood the damn song. Very Spanish, lots of trumpets and congas and wailing. You could dance around the kitchen with a spoon to this song.
- Sweden (Lena Philipson - It Hurts): their 1999 entry was this woman called Charlotte Johansson with purple streaks in her hair and a killer Abba-esque track. She was great, this one wasn't. The track still sounded like Abba, mind. And I wish Sweden had entered the Hives for Eurovision in 2002.
- Turkey (Athena - For Real): the oddest entry of all - a ska band! They all had tattoos and funny coloured hair and the singer wore tartan trousers. It made a change from all the cheese and it would have been uber-cool if they'd won. The song wasn't too bad. I'm sure it pissed off a lot of purists. Ha!
- UK (James Fox - Hold On To Our Love): rubbish. Why do we have to have Pop Idol/Fame Academy rejects to represent us? They all suck, apart from Darius and his ridiculous pretentiousness.
- Ukraine (Ruslana - Wild Dances): she won, thank god. Her song was really OTT and funny, she had a load of dancers dressed like cavemen who pretended to whip her. Terry Wogan said "Here come the Goths!"
I went to Jilly's after. Emma, Andy, Hazel, Dave Junior and Matthew were all there. It was ok, Emma blagged some wine off someone.

Tags:

More answers...

1) I don't like going to the store, the mean little people are such a bore
I Like Birds - Eels
2) Mellow out or you will pay!
California Uber Alles - Dead Kennedys
3) Hello, my name is Roger. I'd like to proclaim myself a god
Jonny - System Of A Down
4) Catch me if you can, my feet will never feel the ground again
Jump Or Be Sane - Catatonia
5) Wir werden einfach liebficken, ficken fur vier, du auf dem Rucken und ich uber dir (NB: this is hard)
Liebficken - Sofaplanet
6) You can't see the forest for the trees, you can't smell yr own shit on yr knees
The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson
7) Keep her down, boiling water, keep her down, what a lovely daughter
Seether - Veruca Salt
8) It's on my wall, it's in my head, memorise it till I'm dead
I Wanna Be Yr Joey Ramone - Sleater-Kinney
9) Every now and then, when I'm all alone, I keep wishing you would call me on the telephone
Stuck - Stacie Orrico
10) They consider me M.A.D., Alfred E Neuman got nuttin' on me
Psychoanalysis (Convergent Thought) - Prince Paul
11) I read the news today, o boy
March Of Death - Zack de la Rocha (trick question)
12) Tennis shoes, don't even need to buy a new dress
Crazy In Love - Beyonce Knowles
13) I'm not an animal!
Bodies - Sex Pistols
14) There is never a Keanu but there is always a dweeb
If You Can't Dance - Spice Girls
15) All up in my hair, he thinks that I care, keeps following me here, following
me there
I Luv U - Dizzee Rascal
16) Just give me the chance to be a man
Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake / Dillinger Escape Plan
17) I'm so sorry if I've alienated some of you
White Boy - Bikini Kill
18) Ha ha ha ha, of you I sing, ha ha ha ha, tied to a string
Bruise Violet - Babes In Toyland
19) Feel much better, paracetamol and codeine
Dire Tribe - Gomez
20) Never taste of the fruit, never thought to question why
Judith - A Perfect Circle

Here are the answers...

1) My job is very boring; I'm an office clerk
Echo Beach - Martha and the Muffins
2) I'd sell my soul, what is it worth?
A Life Less Ordinary - Ash
3) Close my eyes, ignore the smoke
Blue - A Perfect Circle
4) You've taken everything and oh, I cannot grieve anymore
Here To Stay - Korn
5) Who put the 'ram' in the ramalamadingdong?
Deceptacon - Le Tigre
6) Though God loves his wife a bit, he hates the farmer through
Me And The Farmer - Housemartins
7) Babble babble, bitch bitch, rebel rebel, party party
This Is The New Shit - Sir Marilyn of Mansonshire
8) Sucking on my titties like you wanted me
Fuck The Pain Away - Peaches
9) I'm so ugly, that's okay 'cos so are you
Lithium - Nirvana
10) You don't have to say what you did, I already know, I found out from him
Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake / Lostprophets
11) You may be an arsehole, I love you instead
Don't Wake The Baby - Jack Off Jill
12) Can't you stop playing that record again? Find somebody else to talk about
Sweet Dreams My LA Ex - Rachel Stevens
13) I've got something to put in you
Gay Bar - Electric 6
14) I could teach you, but I'd have to charge
Milkshake - Kelis
15) Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to bludgeon you about the head
Big Mouth Strikes Again - Smiths / Placebo
16) You don't give me love, you give me cold hands (my mum thought it was cold pants)
Pale Shelter - Tears For Fears
17) Shake it like a polaroid picture
Hey Ya - Outkast
18) Hello mother, hello father, here I am at Camp Grenada
Camp Grenada - Tom Lehrer
19) Seven hours since you closed the door, started a diet, got a manicure
Hole In The Head - Sugababes
20) Is it something so good just can't function no more?
Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division / Swans
I'm bored and I'm waiting for the chickpeas to boil. Can anyone else guess where the randon lyrics come from (and Gina, if you're reading this, I'll be amaed if you don't get number 3)?
Tess didn't stand me up, I met her in Poptastic but she left after half an hour because her friend had an asthma attack. I think she's losing interest. Oh, lucky me! Baa Bar was great though, I played Shooter Bingo and got wasted and Joe pulled a gorgeous Asian guy, and Jack was going to come and stay at mine but fortunately Mum picked him up (if I was her I would have said "Fuck off you cheeky git, go and stay at Lotte's, I am NOT coming out to pick you up at 1am" etc.), so I didn't have to worry about bringing him to a gay bar. He's not homophobic, but I thought he'd find it a bit weird.
Here's some lyrics from my Kazaa playlist. Answers on a Livejournal comment please...
1) I don't like going to the store, the mean little people are such a bore
2) Mellow out or you will pay!
3) Hello, my name is Roger. I'd like to proclaim myself a god
4) Catch me if you can, my feet will never feel the ground again
5) Wir werden einfach liebficken, ficken fur vier, du auf dem Rucken und ich uber dir (NB: this is hard)
6) You can't see the forest for the trees, you can't smell yr own shit on yr knees
7) Keep her down, boiling water, keep her down, what a lovely daughter
8) It's on my wall, it's in my head, memorise it till I'm dead
9) Every now and then, when I'm all alone, I keep wishing you would call me on the telephone
10) They consider me M.A.D., Alfred E Neuman got nuttin' on me
11) I read the news today, o boy
12) Tennis shoes, don't even need to buy a new dress
13) I'm not an animal!
14) There is never a Keanu but there is always a dweeb
15) All up in my hair, he thinks that I care, keeps following me here, following me there
16) Just give me the chance to be a man
17) I'm so sorry if I've alienated some of you
18) Ha ha ha ha, of you I sing, ha ha ha ha, tied to a string
19) Feel much better, paracetamol and codeine
20) Never taste of the fruit, never thought to question why
WHO: The Zutons
WHERE: Manchester Academy 2
WHEN: 1st May 2004
WITH: No-one
SUPPORT: The Dead '60s
SET: There wasn't one, but fair dos, Academy 2 is a bit on the titchy side
BEST SONG: Dirty Dancehall
BEST BIT: Abi and Dave's sax and melodica duet on the instrumental track whose name I forget. And when all five band members did some gorgeous a cappella harmonies
WORST BIT: They didn't do Creepin' And A-Crawlin'. I know it's not on the new album but god, it's a great track
COOLEST PERSON: Toss-up between the multi-talented Dave McCabe - not only does he sing and play guitar, he plays drums and melodica too - and Abi Harding, firstly because I've never seen an indie band with a sax player before, and after seeing her and the Zutons I have reached the conclusion that there need to be more indie bands with sax players, and secondly because she is sex on legs
WOULD I SEE THEM AGAIN: Yes, because I haven't got the album and I appreciate a band more if I know the songs
RATING: ****

Ramalamadingdong

I went out to Killing Fantasy with Amy last night. It was cool, never have I heard so many great female bands being played in a club before. I am incredibly hungover and tired, for I had 8, yes, 8 Jaegermeisters last night and I have a BASTARD of a hangover. Some weird Aussie guy tried to chat me up on the bus so I lied and told him I was gay (well, it's a half truth). Tess, incidentally, was in Jilly's; talk about sod's law. My first HARM meeting was boss although we didn't get much done, we have to sort out the fanzine, o joy. I'm going to review Reading. It was really boss seeing Matthew and Jim last night, although I wish Matthew wasn't so damn bitchy about Danny, but then Danny told him he had a threesome in a lift with some girl from HARM. Matthew didn't believe him. Neither do I. Danny's lovely but he is so full of shit at times. He denies the thing about claiming he converted me from lesbianism, but I have my doubts. I'm still pretty hurt. You don't do that to yr friends. I am considering telling everyone that Danny couldn't come, but then neither can I, so it's a bit hypocritical and anyway I'm not going down to his level. And I doubt very much that Matthew, Nicky and anyone else who's had to listen to Danny going on and on about what he's done with me really cares anyway. God...considering how sexually frustrated Matthew is - he hasn't had a shag for 2 years - it must irritate him no end hearing Danny going on and on about his sex life. I know it irritates me. Blah, sex is overrated. I've actually cried a couple of times during sex because of the pain, although it hurts less now. I even had to go to the doctor about it because I was so worried there was something wrong with my vag.

Do you drink [alcohol]?: See earlier. The Jaegermeister! The Jaegermeister!

Do you party a lot? I have my moments

Do you use drugs for recreational purposes?: No, I don't do drugs. Can't be bothered with them. It's all a load of bollocks and I prefer alcohol

How often do you use the word like in an average hour?: Too bloody much

Do you skip classes? Yes

Do you have casual sex? No - despite what Stacy thinks, bisexuals aren't always shagging around

Do you steal?: No, unless you count downloading stuff

Do you wear inappropriate clothing?: Inappropriate for what?

Do you drool over celebrities?: Only over the fitties. Not the loons who appear in Heat, I have no time for Posh Spice and Jordan. They need a sound thrashing

Do you watch a lot of TV?: Not really, it's just always on in here

Do you ever watch the News?: Yes. I like the news, it makes me know things, as Lyns MyMelody said on Kittyradio

Do you even care about world issues?: Yes. I have lost sleep over the Palestine question

Do you read books often?: I do a Literature course so I have to. Otherwise yes

Are you failing a lot of your classes?: I'm doing fine in German, not too sure about Spanish. I really buggered up my oral

Do you spend most of your time with your friends?: I like being alone, but I like being with Danny or the housemates or Clare or the flatmates too

Do you smoke cigarettes?: No, I think it's sacrilegious

Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?: I'm not that bored and I can never be arsed to drag my lazy arse out the house

Do you often find yourself with a crush on someone?: Yes, I think my most overused words in here are fuck and Matthew (sometimes in the same sentence)

Do you cuss a lot?: Yes

Are you desperate to fit in?: Not any more. Sod it

The Goth Stereotype

Black lipstick?: Yes

Black eyeliner?: Yes but it gets in my eyes and it bloody kills

Black eye shadow?: I prefer grey or purple

Black trench coat?: No, but I wouldn't mind one like Neo's

Black boots?: Oh yes

Black fishnets?: I have quite the collection of fishnets, in many colours

Black nail polish?: I never wear it, it always chips

Cigarettes?: No

Heavy metal music?: Yes, I joined HARM for a reason

Marilyn Manson?: He's alright, yeah

Kittie?: I used to love them when I was 16, I guess it was partly the novelty of an all female metal band as I'd never seen one before. Gone off them now. System rip-offs. Bah

Cradle of Filth?: Vom.

Constant frown and perpetual angst?: No, just constant whinging

Do you like to be seen as: dunno

Are you an intellectual?: Pretentious? Ich?

An atheist?: Yes in that I'm not a Christian, and no in that I do follow a religion but not an organised one

Horrible home life?: Nicky's gone now so the bad atmosphere's gone, but I've never had a bad home life in that my parents didn't hit me or anything. My dad dying and my mum having a nervous breakdown wasn't a barrel of laughs, though

Hopelessly depressed?: I try not to be, because we all know what that leads to...

Suffering with suicidal idealations? Suicide is for wussies

Self-mutilation?: Yes. I still cut myself. I'm not proud of it and I hate people who glorify in showing off their cuts - there are people like that on Kittyradio and it makes me so angry. You are not cool, you need help. I mainly do it when I'm stressed or extremely upset or both. I am trying to stop but it's hard

The Punk Stereotype

Plaid?: Despite my Scottish heritage, no

Big black boots?: Yes

Mohawk?: No, my hair would never agree to it

Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]: I only have a nose ring, the other piercings are either in the ears or under my clothes

Loud, confident and opinionated?: Sometikmes I'm loud. I'm not very confident. I am, however, opinionated. Just ask Steve.

Wild hair colours?: Occasionally I get the tubes of dye out

NOFX?: Heard one song, heard 'em all. Give me the Kennedys any day

Well versed on political scandals and outrages?: A bit

The Jock Stereotype

What's your IQ?: 140 ish

Do you watch a lot of sports?: Not really

Play a lot of sports?: No, I am a lazy fucker

Talk a lot about sports?: Nothing is more boring than hearing Steve and Duncan rabbiting on about snooker

Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?: I do anything BUT thinking about sport

Are you arrogant?: A bit

Are you a male or female whore?: I've only had sex with six men in 3 years, so no

Are you homophobic?: Well, it would be rather stupid for a bisexual to be a homophobe. It's just as well I'm not, after all I do live with a gay man.

Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: I'm really not that sad. I take the piss out of my mates but that's normal

But really you're a quivering mass of insecurity?: I am insecure, and people know it

Boobs: average size

Parties: Only if I'm in the mood

Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers: Pardon my arrogance, but I am wasted in Maccy D's

The Girl Stereotype

Do you spend a lot of time on your appearance?: It takes me about 10 minutes to get ready

Have you ever been on a diet?: Yes, for health reasons

How much did you lose?: Bugger all

Was it not so much a diet as it was an eating disorder?: No, because I didn't vomit everything up

Make yourself throw up?: Yes. I binge and purge sometimes

Make-up? Occasionally

Low-cut tops?: Yes. I love my corset

Do you flip your hair when you talk, even if you don't realize it?: Yes, because it keeps getting in my face. My hair takes after my dad, except it's wavy not curly

Giggle a lot?: Only when drunk, nervous or in the presence of Danny or Duncan

What's the deal with boys?: They smell funny. But I prefer them to women because they don't talk about shoes

Thongs?: WEDGIES!

Pretty bras?: Yeah

YM, Cosmo, et al?: I have a secret liking for More! and Heat

Who's the weaker sex?: Both, in different ways

Are you a feminist?: Yes, and proud of it, and yes, I do like men

Do you think Brad Pitt is hot?: He's overrated, but he can act. I prefer Jude Law

Are you emotional?: Not as much as I used to be, I've become a bit colder

This Or That

Originality or Acceptance?: Originality

Independence or Companionship?: Independence

Stability or Freedom?: Freedom

Personal or Interpersonal?: personal

Introvert or Extrovert?: Introvert

Popularity or Isolation?: popularity

Unique or Loved?: Loved

Understood or Individual?: Understood

You or Them?: Moi
I didn't go to 5th Ave, I went to Jilly's instead
And ended up in Danny Parker's bed
1-800 1-800 1-800 SPOONGUARD!!

Deffwrch Cymru, diolch y'n fawr, triple XXX
It's time that you and me had lots and lots of meaningless sex
H.A.R.M. secretary, the curvy English lass is me
I came I went I caved I never faked it - I'm still tied to the bed
Put toothpaste on my kutz, I don't do it for attention
In the story of my life you'll get an honourable mention

I see London I see Wales
Danny's technique never fails
I see London I see Wales
I hear Jilly's calling

Now come here and help me take my knickers off
Oh Danny, I know where you live

Gummi Bears is underrated, Star Trek I have always hated
Danny's got a screw loose, I'll meet him in Korumba
I know you're a physicist, uber ghey, Physics bores the pants off me
Keep me away when you and Matthew talk about philosophy
I love the way yr mouth fits mine, what's the Welsh for "you're so fine"?
My hair is red, we're in yr bed and now we're on yr table

I see London I see Wales
Danny's technique never fails
I see London I see Wales
I hear Jilly's calling

Now come here and help me take my knickers off
Oh Danny, I know where you live
I know you've met another girl in Rhyl
But this time I can forgive
I wanna watch Family Guy!

I know where you live
I know where you live
You're a little bit older than me, than me, than me

I love those really sick cartoons
That I got from you on MSN
I love those really sick cartoons
That I got from you on MSN

I heard you said in tutorials you converted me from gay
Come off it, I'm bisexual! I wasn't born yesterday!

You're a little bit older than me
I know where you live

Go Lotte, it's yo' birfdeh

I can't believe I'm 20, and neither can I believe I'm on the computer doing this survey.

Ten Movies You Own
[1] Austin Powers 3
[2] Spinal Tap
[3] The Usual Suspects
[4] Beavis And Butthead Do America
[5] I haven't got any more movies

Ten CDs You Own
[1] In Utero - Nirvana
[2] Auf Der Maur - Auf Der Maur
[3] The Battle Of Los Angeles - Rage Against The Machine
[4] Clear Hearts Grey Flowers - Jack Off Jill
[5] Tomorrow Comes Today - Boy Sets Fire
[6] Stripped - Christina Aguilera
[7] Mechanical Animals - Marilyn Manson
[8] Black Sunday - Cypress Hill
[9] The Remains Of... - Tom Lehrer
[10] Is This It? - Strokes

Women - Five Famous Men You'd Like To Screw
[1] Thom Yorke
[2] Chino Moreno
[3] Franny Griffiths
[4] Zack de la Rocha
[5] Matt Bellamy

Women - Five Famous Women You Wish You Were
[1] Tori Amos
[2] Melissa auf der Maur
[3] Tairrie B
[4] J K Rowling
[5] Germaine Greer

Last 2 Movies You Have Seen In The Theaters
[1] The Missing
[2] Lost In Translation

Two Recent Movies You Want To See
[1] Kill Bill 2
[2] Shaun Of The Dead

Three Movies You Need To Buy!
[1] Baseketball
[2] Donnie Darko
[3] Fight Club

Three Bands/Groups You Have Seen In Concert
[1] Manic Street Preachers
[2] Super Furry Animals
[3] Lostprophets (is anyone noticing a pattern? I've seen Catatonia too)

Name All of the States You Have Been In:
Utah, Arizona, California, Nevada

Top 5 Places You'd Like To Live
[1] Liverpool
[2] Berlin
[3] Aachen
[4] Brighton
[5] Barcelona

Top 3 Dream Jobs
[1] Amnesty translator
[2] Drummer
[3] Food taster

Five Stores You Could Spend A Million Dollars At
[1] Borders
[2] HMV
[3] Thorntons
[4] Oxfam Fairtrade
[5] Waterstones

Only 2 weeks of uni to go...

Exes In Order Of How Much I Hate Them:
1) Adam Burley (bastard bastard bastard bastard bastard)
2) Owen Rafferty (has now decided he doesn't like me - back at you, fucker)
3) Pete Wood (indifferent)
4) Danny Parker (still friends)
5) Rob Taylor (still best friends)
(Oddly enough, Danny and Rob are the two people I had casual relationships with. Go figure.)

5 Shooters That I Drank In Glass Before We Went To The Queen Of Tards For Annie's Birthday:
1) Pierced Nipple (grenadine, Sambuca, Baileys)
2) Squashed Frog (grenadine, Midori, Baileys)
3) Dead Kennedy (Triple Sec, grenadine, Baileys)
4) Dennis The Menace (grenadine, Baileys, black Sambuca)
5) French Kiss (Curacao, grenadine, Baileys)

10 Random Facts About The Object Of My Affection
1) Has two little twin brothers, one of whom he describes as a 'human leech'
2) Spent his gap year teaching English in Israel
3) Favourite programmes are South Park and Star Trek (why?!)
4) Had to get eyebrow re-pierced (ow!)
5) Does Economics, but hates it and is switching to Politics next year
6) Plays the bass guitar
7) Once ate three giant bars of Dairy Milk while watching South Park
8) Believes in the abolition of currency
9) Likes poking babies
10)Is an Eddie Izzard fan and kept quoting him, badly, while electioneering

5 Favourite Places To Go In Canal Street (Or Thereabouts)
1) Poptastic
2) Mantos
3) Baa Bar
4) Vanilla
5) Queer (because Joe works there and he gives you doubles when the bar staff aren't looking)

I really should be in History right now, but I've been to all the tutorials, and besides, we're doing Hitler and I already studied him in GCSE History. I've missed 2 lectures due to being in Coventry and seeing Space, and anyway Steve and Duncan have missed a lot more than I have. And I'm going to go to all my tutorials and lectures and seminars like a good little girly. Even if I've gotten trashed the night before.
Here cometh a ghey parody.

Gimme yr tired, gimme yr poor yearning to be free
From the elections - why didn't I get LGBT?
Give me Granger, give me Byron, give me Burrett, Lee and then
Give me a recount so I can electioneer again

Matthew - you're the Swizz's least favourite Jew
Matthew - I think I'm in love with you
Matthew - believe me, I'd do you because
I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll do anything

Give me honest candidates
Give me fit Jewish men
Give me the post I rightfully deserved again
Give me Custard posters
Get me in a tizz
Oh please god don't make me sit with the Swizz

Give me Jagermeister, absinthe
Give me Afterschock times two
Ant Parkin's not too happy 'cos I'm sitting with the Jews
Give me one reason why I should vote ISoc
For every single position when there's better candidates
Give me an appeal from the LGBT
Oh god I can't believe the Megalomaniac actually beat me

Matthew - you're the Swizz's least favourite Jew
Matthew - I think I'm in love with you
Matthew - believe me, I'd do you because
I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll do anything

Give me honest candidates
Give me fit Jewish men
Give me the post I rightfully deserved again
Give me Custard posters
Get me in a tizz
Oh please god don't make me sit with the Swizz

Give me a new campaign slogan
I've got Bagpuss on the brain
The election's nearly done, thank god, it's driving me insane
The count for Campaigns and Publicity's only just begun
And well I'll be, I don't believe it! Matthew Granger's won!
Don't give me curries with the Swizz
They make me want to hurl
Club Moose is the destination
For this bitter riot grrl

Matthew - you're the Swizz's least favourite Jew
Matthew - I think I'm in love with you
Matthew - believe me, I'd do you because
I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll do anything

Give me honest candidates
Give me fit Jewish men
Give me the post I rightfully deserved again
Give me Custard posters
Get me in a tizz
Oh please god don't make me sit with the Swizz