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Mar. 11th, 2003

The Ultimate Test: to sing in front of Rob.
Why can't I sing in front of my best friend? Last year we were sitting on my bed and he asked me to play my guitar and sing something for him so I played Superhuman by the wonderful Wicker. Of course this wasn't good enough for him. "Play from yr heart, Lottie, don't play someone else's song, just play anything," he said. So I played chromatic major and minor chords. Could I play something I'd written? Hell no! My mind went completely blank. The reason I write this is that I had my first singing lesson today. It's nervewracking - singing is a very personal thing. I believe that if I had to go and sing one of my songs in front of a load of people, especially if I knew them, it would be like telling them all the minor details about my sex life. I hate being in the spotlight. I'm Mark Roberts, not Cerys Matthews, and fuck knows how I managed to do the talent show in 1999 on my own.
Emily and Jack are at Red Hot Chili Peppers tonight, and I am still winning the auction. Four more days. I won't slit my wrists if I can't get the Sugababes tix, but it would be nice to have a fucking gig to go to. Sugababes are one of the only bands that Rob and me agree on!